40 Funny Tentacle Jokes And Puns for Every Sea Lover
Best Tentacle Jokes
What has 6 eyes, 16 tentacles, and quacks like a duck?
“I don’t know either but it’s in my kitchen please help.”
What has eight arms, two tentacles, and wants to speak with the manager?
What did the octopus say when he found out his wife had 10 tentacles?
“You’ve got to be squidding me!”
What’s the difference between a man and an octopus?
Octopus has eight tentacles, each with its own neural structure that offloads work from the brain. Meanwhile human Male has one tentacle which controls the brain.
Octo-let you know I’m tentacles deep in fun over here!
Why is it a good thing that Squidward doesn’t have two more tentacles?
Because then it would be octward.
An octopus was filming a TV show, but they had to temporarily stop filming,
They were experiencing tentacle difficulties.
A 90-year-old billionaire was dragged into the abyss by the tentacles of a Lovecraftian Old God.
It was an elder rich horror.
What do you call a duck with tentacles?
How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Of course it only has 8 of those.
So the first two were test-tickles!
How do you make an octopus sing an octave higher?
Kick him in the tentacles.
Holding a gun in each tentacle, the octopus glared menacingly at the cat.
The feline, however, chuckled and purred, “You’re one short, pal.”
An atheist is out on the Atlantic Ocean deep sea fishing when his boat is attacked by the Kraken. Huge tentacles wrap around the boat and begin to rip it in two. He looks over the boat straight into the jaws of the beast and screams “Oh God! Help!”
Time freezes. A ray of light shines down on him and he hears a deep voice say “I thought you didn’t believe I was real.”
“Come on, God, cut me a break!” the man responds. “A few seconds ago, I didn’t believe the Kraken was real either!”
What’s the difference between a snail’s eye and a slug’s eye?
Nothing. They’re eye-tentacle.
The flounder was chatting with his eel friend and asked, “Have you heard about the new twin squid?”
The eel replied, “Yeah, I heard they were totally i-tentacle!”
Why should you be careful around angry squids?
What kind of computer problems do octopuses have?
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Spider-Man is the story of the average teenager.
First, muscles begin to develop. Hair starts to grow from unusual places. White stuff comes out when you play with your hands for a while.
And a black guy frequently beats you up wanting to “assimilate” with you. Your best friend’s father becomes a sociopath who is interested more in stripping you naked than taking care of his own family. And a fat dude with a tentacle fetish wants to do weird things to you.
What does Ned Flanders call tentacle porn?
What do you call an octopus without any legs?
An octopus cause they have tentacles not legs.
What do you call an octopus that’s missing one tentacle?
What does an octopus rest their tentacles on when they’re relaxing on the sofa?
What’s a synonym for tentacle hentai?
A guy walks into a bar with a box under his arm, sets it on the bartop, and orders a beer. Curious, the bartender asks about the box and the man replies, “It’s my pet octopus. He just got done teaching music lessons so I stopped in for a drink on the way home.”
The bartender doesn’t believe it and asks for proof. “Sure,” the man says. “bring me any instrument, and this octopus will play it beautifully.”
The bartender produces several instruments from behind the bar, and the man opens up the box, sets the octopus on the bar, and immediately begins playing each one like a virtuoso, nearly bringing the bartender to tears with its skill.
“Amazing,” says the bartender. “I’ve got my family’s bagpipes, do you think your octopus could manage that?”
“Let’s see.” Said the man as the bagpipes were laid gently next to the octopus.
Instead of playing, the octopus starts to use its tentacles to inspect the pipes, occasionally producing a tiny squeak thoroughly.
“Well? Aren’t you going to play it?” The man asks the octopus.
“Play it?” Replies the octopus. “As soon I get its pajamas off, I’m gonna have sex with it!”
How do octopuses make their battles fair?
What did the octopus say to its valentine?
“I’m head over tentacles for you!”
How do octopuses type on keyboards?
With tentacle-typing precision!
Have you ever tried to play cards with an octopus?
They are too tentacle-ative about his hand.
Do you think you’re good at multitasking?
Try being an octopus – they’re tentacle-talented!
Why is the octopus a great drummer?
He’s got the best tenta-beat.
Why should you never get into a fight with an octopus?
They always have the upper tentacle.
Why does Spongebob have many holes?
Because Squidward have 6 tentacles.
What did Doc Ock say to his tentacles?
“Otto-bots, roll out!”
What do you call a hentai-themed band?
My tentacle romance.
Yo mama so slimy, she provides the slime in tentacle porn.
What do you call a lesbian with tentacles?
How many tickles does it take to turn on an anime girl?
How do they call a tentacle porn in a Harry Potter universe?
Do you have a funny Tentacle joke? Write down your own puns in the comment section below!